Welcome to the 8th Smart Money Debate at ReadyForZero! To see the other side of this debate, read Melissa’s post: Why You Should NOT Charge Adult Children Rent. And then let us know which argument was more convincing!
This post was written by Jana, author of the wonderful personal finance blog Daily Money Shot, where she discusses money, family, relationships, pop culture, and everything in-between. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook.
Asking a child to pay rent upon moving back home is undesirable, yet necessary. As a parent, it is hard for me to think about ever asking my child to pay to live in her own home. While she’s a child, that is. But if she’s finished college, has a job and simply wants to move back home because it’s easier, I can’t think how giving her a free ride would be at all beneficial to her in the long run. It wouldn’t make sense.
In fact, my husband and I have talked about this topic (granted, our child is almost 6 but why not discuss something that may or may not ever happen) and what we would do if our daughter came to us wanting to move back home. We’ve decided that we’d absolutely charge her rent. Maybe not the rent she’d pay living on her own in an apartment, but she would pay something. And here’s why:
Decreases parental dependency
Living rent-free in your parents’ house is a surefire way to continue to be dependent upon your parents. You rely on them for all the same things you did as a kid—a roof, food, utilities. Maybe not food or gas. But one guy I knew even had his mother still doing his laundry and packing his lunch for work every day! He came to rely on his parents so much that he actually didn’t know how to do much for himself.
Being dependent on your parents is not a great way to become an adult. By paying rent, that helps to break the dependency cycle and makes the adult child contribute to the household. Then he’ll feel like he has a stake in what happens and may step up and take charge of other areas of his life (additionally, the parents have to say no to performing these types of tasks in order for the dependency cycle to be fully broken).
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Encourages smart financial choices
And to cut frivolous spending. Many of the adult children I’ve known living rent free in their parents’ homes wasted money. Every meal was purchased. New DVDs every Tuesday. Every weekend at bars and clubs. New clothes, expensive cars, and yet, they complained about never having any money and not being able to move out of mommy’s house because rent is too expensive.
Had their parents asked them to pay rent, they’d cut back on much of the unnecessary spending and get a hold on how to pay their bills. Then they’d be able to move out on their own, making them more independent and responsible for their own financial choices.
It’s hard to separate this one from making smart financial choices because really, they go together. When you mandate your child to pay rent—no matter how high or low—you are giving them a tool to learn how to be responsible for their money.
Paying rent is just like paying another bill and part of being a responsible adult is paying your bills and doing so on time. And, just as in real life, there needs to be consequences for late payments. Whether that’s a late fee or interest or something else is up to the landlord (read: parents) but a child will never learn to be responsible for his or her money if there’s no reason to be.
Just so you don’t think I’m completely heartless, there are two exceptions I’ll concede:
- If the parent and child discuss logistics ahead of time, and the child is moving back home to pay off debt or save money for something big (like a house or graduate school or wedding), then not asking the child to pay rent is totally acceptable. However, it must be agreed upon by both parties and there must be some sort of tangible proof that the money is going towards the stated goal and not towards enhancing a wardrobe or an incessant need to buy electronics. I’ve seen this type of arrangement in action and it really does work.
- If the child can’t find a job. If there’s no job, there’s no income and therefore cannot pay rent. However, if that’s the case, the parents must step in and make the child contribute to the household in some way. Whether that is doing housework or running errands or cooking meals, the child needs to be more than a lump on the couch.
As much as I’d like to say I’d be one of those cool moms who’d let my baby move back home with me and live rent free until she gets her finances in order, I know that I can’t be. Doing so is a detriment to her in the present and in the future.
Besides, knowing me, I’d put the rent money in a savings account and give it to her on her moving out day.
What about you? Share your opinion in the comments below.
To see the other side of this debate, read Melissa’s post: Why You Should NOT Charge Adult Children Rent. And then let us know which argument was more convincing!
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